Are you free Saturday? We should talk and stuffs. I have a cake request, but I also do want to talk because we’d be awesome friends :)
I think I have a cake to make for Sunday as well, but I’ll let you know for sure. If not, maybe I could help you with your cake? I duno. You may not need help, but I do have a lot to offer if you’d like it.
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”—Greg Behrendt (via cavum)
I don’t know most of you, but I know you don’t care about my relationship problems. You added me because you like my cakes or the things I post on my dash, but my life is more than that. So, just this last time, I’m going to vent about my heartbreak, then I promise to do something I hardly ever do and keep my mouth shut.
I bought my early ticket home last night. I watched old movies all night in my hotel room alone and cried at things that really weren’t sad, until I realized I wasn’t really crying about the shows I was watching. I was crying because of you. Knowing your graduation and that awkward side-hug would be the last time I’d touch you. I fell asleep crying and woke up feeling like I was hung over without a drop of alcohol in my system. My body ached, my head throbbed, I was dizzy and had horrible nausea, but ya know what? I got up anyway, ate some breakfast and drove myself to the airport. All the while, still hoping you’d man up or at least call. You didn’t.
So now I sit here in the Wilmington airport, again alone, waiting for the flight to take me back to reality. Leaving makes everything real, you know? It’s not going to be easy losing my best friend and my boyfriend. I mean, I thought this was the person I was going to marry…You don’t easily forget about that, but I have to move on. Life doesn’t stop happening just because I have a gaping hole in my chest. I’ve had offers already of people that want to “treat me right,” but right now the thought of love makes me sick. It’s time to spend some time alone. I need to properly grieve over this loss instead of making someone into a rebound to quickly forget and move on.
Tomorrow, I will celebrate my 22nd birthday alone, and that’s ok, because it’s better than celebrating it with someone who is willing to fight for a million anonymous Americans but not for the person he loves. I won’t be alone forever. I’ll find someone who loves me for me, because you know what?!
I’m a keeper, goddammit.
It’s time to board my flight. Goodbye. I will miss you.